Sexual Edumacation

The marriage of Mary Kay Letoureneau, 43, and Vili Fualaau, 22 was announced today by the department store holding the wedding registry. You remember Mary, the convicted pedophile, who first introduced the groom to be to a hands on sex education course when he was a mere 12 years of age. The term "teacher's pet" took on a whole new meaning.

Mary Kay was beaming after the announcement. "When I first saw him at recess, I just knew he was my soul mate for life", she giggled. "He constantly received an A+ in the independent study course", she shyly stated.

In between chocolate milk and grilled cheese sandwiches, the couple begat two children. Mary Kay had to do some time away from the family because the love affair was misconstrued as having something to with statutory rape.

Vili was ecstatic when Mary Kay popped the question. "Only in America can the boyhood fantasy of boffing the teacher become a reality", he gushed. "It was difficult when she was away. The kids and I played a lot of X-Box and watched cartoons together, but we knew that the day would come when "mummy" would come home. We had to once again fight the legal system, but that was really no problemo."

Again a double standard rears its ugly head. Male teachers convicted of the same offense have fared much worse. Not that we should be sympathetic to them by any means, for their acts were despicable, but society really does not look on a female v. male act as evil as a male v. female act even though both acts may have been consensual. Yet, this act committed by an individual held in the public trust, a supposed educator of our youth, is viewed as nothing more than twenty midget clowns exiting a VW at a circus.

Since the Mary Kay case, other female teachers have been accused of the same deplorable acts. There should be no distinction between these cases and those widely disseminated in the media concerning pedophile priests. Evil holds no gray area.

But let us not rain on the wedding plans. Why not circumvent the gift registry and everyone send the happy couple a $6.95 toaster and a box of Pop Tarts. No hard feelings, Mary.