A Very Weakly Contribution

The Michael Jackson circus has taken a new turn this week. Previous testimony alluded to Michael’s prowess as a master hand puppeteer, but know we learn that he may in fact have orally entertained members of the Barney generation audience. How damaging can that be? Isn’t that what accomplished vocalists do?


Harmony Brands recently recalled some of the products that they distribute, namely condoms and home pregnancy kits. Seems the products didn’t work correctly. And the Sharper Image Ionic Breeze Air Purifier was also recalled due to inefficiency to clean the air in a supposedly protected space, but also due to its potential to release harmful ozone. I can just imagine the phone call that might be placed by the consumers of a household utilizing all three products:

Wife: Hello, Dear? I have some bad news.
Husband: What Dear?
Wife: Well, on a hunch I took one of those home pregnancy tests I bought at the dollar store
and it showed that the rabbit died.
Husband: But I used one of those condoms that I bought at the convenience store. How can
that be?
Wife: Worse than that, Dear. The rabbit died from STD and severe respiratory Finally,
complications.

Martha Stewart is complaining that this house arrest thing is cutting into her business ventures and she should be granted an early release. Wonder if the guys in the halfway houses complain when they have to take a bus or walk to their minimum