Scary Thoughts I

You’re driving to work one morning and suddenly it hits you. A scary thought. In the middle of an important business meeting….a scary thought. That interview for the dream job you have waited for all your adult life has finally arrived and as you begin to answer that one crucial question, the one that will make you or break you, BAM….a scary thought.

The day you suddenly realize that your mother and father engaged in sex and you can visualize it.

George and Laura Bush engaged in sex. You can clearly hear it.
George: “Laura, come over here and let me show you my weapon of mass destruction.”
Laura: “Now George, you know there is not one ounce of intelligence nor evidence that proves there are any WMDs. Possibly a little pea shooter.”

Dick Chaney and Ahmad Chalabi having sex.

Rosie O’Donnell in a string bikini. Scary

Donald Rumsfeld in a string bikini. Heart attack scary.

Lewis Libby introducing himself as Scooter to his new cellmate, “Bubba” and all the while, “Bubba” is licking his lips. Scary for Scooter.

The Pope leading the boys’ choir in a rousing rendition of “Deutschland, Deutschland uber alles” at midnight mass at the Vatican.

Bill Clinton asking Jerry Falwell to be his mentor.

Falwell accepting the offer and invites Tammy Faye Baker over for a private party to celebrate.

You’re running late for work, but find you are the only car on the Interstate in either direction during rush hour.

You call 911 and receive an automated menu message.

Vince Shoemehl is elected Governor of the State of Missouri.

Bill Haas is elected Lt. Governor.