Baseball in October

Through winter into spring, spring to summer , summer into fall the seasons blur as the National Pastime finally arrives into October. The tournament to name the Word Champions of baseball.

God created woman of the rib of man. All was good with the union until the Egyptians created a calendar and Doubleday invented a fat stick and a small sphere. While woman always understood the testosterone raging in the male, she became hard pressed to understand the surrogate sexual stimulus of the Fall Classic. Unable to comprehend the intricacies of the male of the species, the female takes to shopping sprees and runs up huge amounts on another invention, charge cards, which will surely strike the male sometime in December.

October, the time for male bonding. The contented male bouncing his five month old on his lap, along with the five year old squirming on the couch wanting to play with whatever it is five year olds play with anymore, and the 15 year old that wishes he could be with his girl friend since his testosterone is working fine. The male attempt to introduce and indoctrinate other males into the right of passage.

The mythical male. He knows not his zip code, area code or anniversary date, but can recite verbatim the batting averages of over 100 players without hesitation. Oblivious to shoe size, shirt size or name of his first born, he can cite the current E.R.A. of all the pitchers. His baseball fantasy team outweighs his sexual fantasies.

During this time of year, he consumes vast quantities of an amber elixir. Pizza is the cuisine de jour. If the favored meatloaf is served, it is partaken of on a tray strategically placed at the front of the T.V.

Some women have attempted to provoke the male to turn away from the game. W: "I'm having an affair with the pool boy". M: "Do we have a pool"? W: "I'm having an affair with my tennis instructor". M: "Has it helped your serve"? W: "I'm having an affair with a batboy". M: "Can you get me any tickets"?

Then, in a rather anti-climatic moment, the month ends. The much beloved team has won or possibly lost. The outcome lasts for a day or maybe two at the most. Things become normal. Thanksgiving and Christmas pass. Plans are readied for the Superbowl Party.

October: A man's month.