A Chocolate Kind of Day

I want to talk about something very important. No, not the war or the Administration’s embellishment - to put it mildly - of the facts that brought us there. Something more significant in our daily lives than the tirades of our beloved Archbishop. A topic of joy, not sorrow. A pleasant theme designed to relax and meditate the luxurious decadence that this morsel has to offer. Chocolate.

Ummm, that delicious product of the beans of the cocoa tree. The food of the gods. Available at your corner grocery store since 1100 B.C. Silky milky; rich, dark and thick; white and creamy, although purists dispute that white chocolate is in fact chocolate at all. Oh, ye of little faith.

Bring to the table those cakes, pies, fudge bars, cookies and puddings. Served as a hot drink on a cold night with that certain someone, it could be labeled an aphrodisiac. Or a chug of a cold glassful in the morning could prove to be a quick pick-me-up. Martinis of the type are now the craze. Dip your strawberries, cherries, pineapples, apples and bananas and pleasure your palate. What an extraordinary condiment for ice cream. A mixture of chocolate and peanut butter is simply mind-boggling. Chocolate chips in waffles, in pancakes, the possibilities are limited only by the imagination. Not to mention the stimulating philosophical discussion on the art of s’more construction.

How can we forget the joy of sinking our teeth into the ears of a chocolate Easter Bunny? Oh, the pleasure of a chocolate Santa Claus at Christmas time. The romance involved in chocolate hearts on Valentine’s Day. Halloween and pillowcases full of pirate's booty. As the vegetarians delight in their tofu Thanksgiving turkey, make mine a 14 pound mound of chocolate. I once ate so many chocolate chip muffins at work, that I was discovered sitting on the floor in a corner of the break room, OD’d, eyes glazed over, and a chocolate drool seeping from the corner of my mouth. Chocolate consumption by Americans rivals that of the venerated hot dog. We know what is in chocolate, but not all that certain about that tubular offering.

Had Jesus fed the multitude with a few chocolate bars and some chocolate covered cherries his followers would have doubled and tripled in mass. Surely Beethoven must have dived into a German Chocolate cake prior to composing his 9th Symphony for that would truly have been an Ode to Joy. The cannons fired during the 1812 Overture filled with M&Ms filling the air with those tiny fragments of coated candy. Picasso approaching his canvas with a brush of the sweet brownish mixture. Think of the tons of chocolate bars distributed by the American G.I. as they liberated the oppressed. Of course, nylons helped.

Chocolate seems to have more days of the year allotted to celebration of the delectable treat than the Federal government provides for National Holidays. American Chocolate Week runs from March 14-20. National Chocolate Days are celebrated on December 28 and 29th. Various species of chocolate are honored on 11 other days. June 22 is my favorite.

So, dip me in chocolate and throw me to the lesbians. Give me chocolate or give me death. Dinner tonight will be a buffet at the Convenience Mart